How to Live the Fearless Life You Deserve

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For me, the opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It’s enough. I’m enough. Brene Brown 

I admit it. I have a scarcity mentality. You’d think I worry a lot about money (sometimes I do), but the resource that strikes fear in my heart most often is time.

As in “there is never enough time.”

“I didn’t get enough done today.”

“How am I ever going to get it all done?”

As I’ve gotten older and experienced real problems (cancer, anyone?) I’ve started asking myself different questions:

Why is it difficult for me to relax and enjoy what each moment brings?

Why do I resist trusting myself and knowing that I always manage to get done what needs to get done?

Why do I view new opportunities with anxiety, rather than looking forward to them as blessed adventures?

The answer to each of these questions is: FEAR.

Big, bad, ugly FEAR. FEAR that I’m not enough. FEAR that I will eventually fail miserably. FEAR that, FEAR that, FEAR that……

Hey, what if FEAR is just a bad habit? What if FEAR is merely a conditioned response drummed into me long ago when I was highly impressionable?

What if FEAR is just a feeling and not reality?

What if FEAR that I am not enough is a load of you know what?

FEAR stops me from saying “Yes” to myself. And, when I find the courage to step up, FEAR stomps on the joy of putting myself out there to experience something new.

FEAR makes mindfulness impossible by dredging up needless worry.

FEAR is great in fight or flight situations, but entirely useless when your life is not actually threatened. Imagine getting into a roller coaster if you really believed you were going to die. Would you even show up, let alone get in and strap yourself into the seat? I think not.

No, it’s nervous energy that lets you push your boundaries and gets you into that seat. It’s nervous energy that expresses itself screaming and laughing all the way up and down, up and down, UP, UP, UP and DOWN, DOWN, DOWN. That screaming and laughing is mindfulness in its purest form.

When I was six, I remember the fun and nervous energy of appearing in my first (and last) play. I was Mopsy in Peter Rabbit. That cutie-pie standing next to me is Danny Allegro (who played Peter Rabbit to rave reviews.) I remember his mother taking our picture and I remember the joy of being a kid and doing something new and fun.

This leads me to what I’m up to this week. On Saturday, April 5th, I’m giving the keynote address at the 5th Annual Blood Cancer Conference of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, at the Great Wolf Lodge in Mason, OH. I’ve been practicing my talk for weeks, I’ve got my plane tickets and I even bought a new dress. I’m fending off a little FEAR, but mostly I’m very excited. I’m relying on nervous energy to make me a better, more creative, transformational speaker, and put me squarely in the joy of the moment – just like it did when I was six.

Are you in the Cincinnati area? If so, come say hello. I’d love to meet you, so have no FEAR and walk right up and introduce yourself! For now, why not leave me a comment below. Let me know how you deal with your FEAR, and tell me about one or two things you’re doing to live a FEARless life.

Survival > Existence,

Debbie

Related Posts:

Saying “Yes” to Yourself After Cancer: If Not Now, When?
Saying “Yes” to Creative Healing After Cancer
Asking the Big Question After Cancer Treatment – “Why Not?”
Well Here Goes Nothing…

Comments

Pamela Durocher's picture

Fear

Fear has played a major role in my life for as far back as I can remember. Cancer at 55 has taken it to a new level. I read all the stuff about “the blessings” that one can get from the experience of cancer – I’m trying to get there! Fear and anxiety, enhanced by medication – it’s relentless!

Debbie's picture

Many Blessings & All the Best to You

Hi Pamela:

I know it’s not easy to get beyond the fear. I applaud you for trying to get there. Taking one day, one moment at a time, is the best we can do. I wish you many blessings and all the best.

Survival > Existence,

Debbie

Pam's picture

Fear

My biggest fear, especially since diagnosis, is that my choices will be the wrong ones. I don’t want to waste any more time going in the wrong direction. I was in my 40’s before I finally felt that I was on the right track (as a nurse) then cancer came calling. Since I’m probably relapsing for the third time as we speak, the fear of doing the wrong thing has been amped up exponentially and financial constraints only make it worse.

Debbie's picture

I Can’t Imagine How Fearing a Third Relapse Feels

Pam:

I can’t imagine how fearing a third relapse feels. You have a lot on your plate and every reason to be fearful. Keep talking and sharing, getting all the support you possibily can. This is not a situation you can go through alone, no matter how strong you are. I’m sending you blessings and good wishes that things get better.

Debbie

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